Adhering To Sobriety

My First Hit

I can remember my first hit of Mary J like it was yesterday. I was commitment from the first inhale. Sitting in front of a closet mirror, I took my first bowl hit and soon after I became intoxicated by laughter. I was living in Cali and my first taste was of the highest quality. It felt nice to be able to escape myself for a bit. I felt like a child again. One without any implications of the evilness in the world. Mary seemed to given wings which allows me to gracefully escape the funk of my tribulations. From that moment forward it was she and I against the world. She was literally one of the closet feminine essence around me and I was incapsulated by her smell, taste, and the effect on my body and mind. Since the age of 23 up until 16 days ago we communed multiple times a day.

The Dark Ages

I can remember when things turned dark. i’d say I was about a year into my love affair when not having her around became an issue. Mary was so important to me that if you wanted my attention you’d better partake and have unlimited access to her to be accepted by me. I never took a break. I smoked before work, during my break, and afterwards up until I fell asleep. It became ritual of mine. I considered it holy. I personally still don’t condemn the herb it was my abuse of the substance that shifted me to a place of codependency. Without weed I was a bitch. I would be mood AF and not give a crap about how it affected the people closely associated to me. It was me, Mary, and my supplier against the world. No lie.

Total Commitment

You see once I commit to something I go all in. It’s just the way I am. I don’t deviate from what brings me satisfaction. I would spend my last dollar to commune with that Fire. My close friends knew me to never be without and about 18 days ago I got my hands on the largest amount id ever been in possession of. Now over the years it became apparent to me that life without it felt overwhelming and often just too much to deal with. Mary held my hand when I felt like crap and with each inhale and exhale I experienced temporary relief. I think i’ve painted a clear picture of just how intimate my relationship with the substance was.

The Catalyst

Approximately a month ago I came across my now mindset coaches content. Me being well traveled and an adept when it comes to energy and reading someones energy felt completely enamored by my coaches approach to life and the delivery of his messages. I mean it was as it he spoke directly to my soul. It not hard to recognize a vessel of truth. Especially one that has experienced the lows and highs of life. To sum it up it was easy for me to respect his person and his teachings. I followed him but did’t immediately dive into the content. I wasn’t quite ready to stop bullshitting around. Sixteen days ago I allowed myself to binge on his content and it was a wrap ever sense. I watched one of his videos where he spoke about is own substance abuse. Within the video he made a statement to the effect of you are smoking because you don’t like your reality! This statement struck a cord within my heart and hence begin my mental shift began.

Life Changing

I found myself realizing this was a true vessel of light and seemingly a beacon for my own path. I had the desire to stop for awhile and after witnessing his transparency coupled with exceptional display of character and personal development I knew I needed to join forces. He encouraged and exemplified a total life transformation. And that’s exactly what I wanted for myself. So that same. day I joined his program and life has become sweeter due to my obedience to my consciousness. I’m sixteen days in and I have absolute no desire to partake. And let me remind you if I wanted to I could! I am operating of my sheer will to exemplify Superior Conduct. This is one of coaches mantras. Sober Fit Enlightened and getting Rich is also a slogan and has now become my main focus. Lets GO!

Sweet Sixteen

How good it feels to be able to operate from my own clear mind. Abstaining from all substances while reconditioning my brain to think and perform in new more efficient way has been soul satisfying. I often find myself on the verge of tears as I am filled with an abundance of gratitude. Reactivating my website is a direct correlation of me deciding to change my life. Every day I am committed to adding value to myself. I am excited about where I’m headed. Sweet Sixteen 1=6 = 7 GOD MODE is activated within my being. I can’t wait to update the blog when hit my year marker. I will do something grand to celebrate myself.

Me Facing ME

Ultimately I had the desire to stop and after witnessing my coach live what I dreamed of it all became accessible to me. My mind saw that I could be just as great. It’s been lit ever since and I’m excited to continue living sober. Funny story, when I came home today I stepped out of my car and got a strong wift of Mary Jane and I was repelled by it. I actually said to myself “Who is smoking that crap?” Two months ago I would have had the desire to join the party. Behold old things have passed away and all things are NEW! My visceral reaction was an indication of my growth. I am proud of myself and I can’t wait to see what will manifest as a result of me choosing to level up my life.

You Can Change Your Life

Let this go to show and prove our lives are ours to command. The body surely follows the mind. And from my perspective the mind is heavily influenced by the spirit. Therefore it is the spirit(s) within that influence our nature. I’m grateful to have a strong spirit which enables my will to be solid. To the reader who also desires to commit to sobriety, allow my story to inspire you to do it. Nothing but ourselves is the only obstacle that exist. When external issues arise instead of numbing ourselves it is best to accept the challenge head on. Adapting the mindset of being victorious no matter what it takes. Understand that if you will to be different you can make the change. Lastly I’d like to add this tip. It is extremely helpful to replace your unhealthy habits with new healthy ones.. This will enhance your ability to stick to the program. Be encouraged. Change is a matter of RIGHT ACTION.

Peace. Until next time.

- Meditative